Another blog, just what I need. Only without all the fluff. My other blog chronicles the life of my twin boys, just a day to day report on their milestones and the funny things they do as they try to figure the world out. It is read by family and friends so many times there are things I would like to vent about but alas cannot. This place however will be no holds bar on my emotions and journey through motherhood.
A little about me…I’m 32. I used to have a career, wear lipstick everyday, earn a living, and converse with like minded people. Not so much anymore. I have chosen to ride the bench for a couple of years while my boys are little. I have given all the above up and some days feel like I have given my sanity along with it. Never, I stress never would I have ever guessed being a SAHM could be so emotionally draining. I would love to say that I love every second of it but that would be the forementioned fluff I was referring to. At the moment I feel like it is suffocating me.
Please don’t for one moment measure the amount of love I have for my precious little ones by the angst I describe SAH. I live and happily breathe my boys. They are the center of my world and make me insanely happy. I’m just trying to figure out the balance of life after leaving my former one behind and starting a new one as a mother and nurturer.
My journey to bring this joy into my life starts with a wonderfully supportive and loving husband. He and I have been sharing our lives together since we were teens. We had financial and personal goals we wanted to achieve together before starting our family. When it was finally time there was trouble. We walked the lonely road of infertility for 2 years. It was just long enough to accumulate enough bitterness to last a lifetime, lose my faith in a higher being, and leave a bruise on my soul that will never fully heal. Overnight it seemed like we went from feeling like the most desperate and unlucky people we knew to lottery winners of the biggest jackpot ever. TWIN BOYS! Thank god (or whomever is pulling the strings) we never have to walk this road again. Instant family.
